Please explain yourself.

I am a man – just about. I try to make people laugh with songs that I have written about life’s underrated pleasures such as Bestiality, Incest, Date-Rape, Sexually Transmitted Diseases and many more.
 I don’t aim to offend people but it is often inevitable when I sing lines such as ‘Now puppy won’t move, because puppy is dead, he choked on my penis while he was giving head.’

Describe yourself in three words beginning with the letter ‘e’.

Explicit
Endangered
English?

How is student life treating you?

It’s dull.

How do you think students are stereotyped and do you yourself fit any of those stereotypes?!?

• Drunken party animals with a bizarre fetish for wearing cones on their heads whilst running into shop windows.
• One who pisses as he/she walks to the next pub whilst screaming hello to everyone he/she meets.
• One who befriends tramps and then ditches them the minute something new takes their fancy – leaving the tramp lonely, vulnerable and even more depressed.
• Pretentious/Eccentric/Arrogant/Alcoholic.
• A student is a person who scrounges off the taxpayers to buy fags, booze and super noodles.

And no, I don’t fit any of those stereotypes. Except probably/defiantly the last one.

Are you a comedian or a musician?

Err…Musidien?

If people laugh I call myself a comedian.
If people don’t get the jokes I say ‘It wasn’t supposed to be funny, it’s more about the music really’.

Would you sell out given half the chance or a fat pile of cash?

I’d be a celebrity look-a-like on Nevermind The Buzzcocks – if that classes as selling out. Aside from that I probably wouldn’t.

What is your favourite record at the moment?

“Blue Jeans and White T-shirts” by The Gaslight Anthem or
Eddie Vedder’s “Long Nights”.
8. What are your plans for the rest of 2008?
Go for long walks, read as many books as I possibly can, record some music, take up cycling.
Which musicians / pop stars should be locked in a dungeon and why?
Garry Glitter – because he touches kids.

Batman or Superman?

Superman has real powers, so probably Superman.

When was the last time you embarrassed yourself?

Last time that comes to mind was probably at Glastonbury. I went to use a portaloo but the door was locked and rather than reaching the logical explanation that it was occupied I presumed the door was just jammed so I spent a few moments prying it open. It was probably more embarrassing for the woman taking a dump inside.

What was the last dream you remember having?

Alligators seem to be a recurring motif in my dreams at the moment.

What is Canterbury missing?

People that go in to McDonald’s, Subway or Burger King, spend 10 to 20 quid on burgers and then distribute them to the homeless people.
And a bowling alley.

Is it true that chickens can't drown?

No idea. I bet they can.

What is your favourite film?

Into the Wild.
Garden State.
Crash (2004).

Tell us a joke.

I can never think of any good jokes, erm…
Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A. He had no arms…